I need to write this down, my head is full to bursting from the last 5 days
Where do I start, the kids broke up on thursday lunchtime so I juggled my work and training around them so I could down tools and be there for their every need.
But still after all the years of knowing what a change in routine does to a child like Leo I’m amazed even I forget what destruction it leaves when the school holidays hit. From the moment I met him from school instant change everywhere, he usually gets the bus home, but because Ruby’s school were closing at 1.15 and I had promised a trip to get her nails done for her school disco I agreed with Leo to meet him first then walk up to get Ruby. The anxiety began ‘When were we going to the cinema?’…’When were we going home?’ ‘When is saturday?’ ‘When are we going to the bookshop?’repetitive questions and lots of reassuring whilst we trooped up the road to the primary school in the rain.
His anxiety subsided, Ruby then took over like a tag team whilst I curled her hair for a whole hour, ‘Ow, don’t curl it that way!’ ‘Can I wear your make-up?’ ‘Where are my party shoes?’ ….. Deep breaths Kezza…. one child walked up to school disco, one child collected from school disco, got soaked for the third time and then kids in bed and fall into heap.
Day two Good Friday, spent the day keeping the tag team from raiding cupboards and arguing with each other, so decided the best thing to do was put them in water, why not it always calm me down!, so we trekked across Woodley to the swimming pool and back again, both journeys were filled with the usual whining about how far it was or one was thirsty or hungry and how awful I was that I hadn’t carried supplies for a hike up a mountain. Deep breaths Kezza.
Day three, Saturday. Bosh no rest for me today, from the moment child 2 woke point blank refusal to do anything, no teeth cleaning, not getting dressed, not putting shoes on, no coat wearing…. I was exhausted before I even got to parkrun. This was where I actually got some temporary respite, both children actually left me alone for a whole 45 minutes and clapped runners, yes I’m nailing this!
This was temporary, I found Leo in the cafe grunting and swaying because the cafe didn’t have chocolate shortbread, you’d have thought I had just told him he was going to have his legs removed. It took deep breaths and all my patience to keep a lid on the situation.
The rest of the day was a continual moment to moment of explaining why they couldn’t eat all of the easter eggs bought for them in one go, to then picking up various things they decided to get out and dump on the floor, lego, creative play, pens, clothes on clothes off, wet towels, trainers kicked across the floor. So I decided to get them out the house again as they were clearly going stir crazy, we managed a whole 2 hours out at a local restaurant to celebrate my best friends birthday, but true to form child 2 decided she didn’t want to walk home and screamed ‘I want a taxi home’ for an almost constant 10 minutes on the journey back. Goodness knows what passers by thought.
I got back exhausted and once the kids were in bed my poor head had enough and I went into meltdown, I sobbed and I sobbed and I sobbed.
This (despite a bit of relief) exhausted me even further I spent Sunday in bed and curled on the sofa absolutely good for nothing. I think I slept on and off for about 19 hours.
Monday, still tired -how can that be? had they broke me?. The only thing to do would be to get them out of the house again, but easier said than done, their refusal to shower and get ready started all over again until at last we were all ready and 2.15pm we left the house. I knew by taking them to the cinema this would keep them quiet, it worked. The minute we were back the demands started again so I texted their Dad and he came and got them and explained they had simply worn me out!
To top it all my back is now spasming, goodness knows how or why. So with a half marathon in 6 days time, and one I’ve trained hard for, I’m left feeling like the crappiest mother on earth, emotional and tired, yes very tired. And if you could see my eyes you’d see just how tired.